***
and even though the moment passed me by i still can't turn away. cuz all the dreams you never thought you'd lose got tossed along the way. and letters that you never meant to send got lost or thrown away

and now we're grown up orphans and never knew their names. we don't belong to no one. that's a shame. but you could hide beside me maybe for a while. and I won't tell no one your name. and I won't tell 'em your name

and scars are souvenirs you never lose. the past is never far. did you lose yourself somewhere out there? did you get to be a star? and don't it make you sad to know that life is more than who we are

we grew up way too fast and now there's nothing to believe. and reruns all become our history. a tired song keeps playing on a tired radio. and I won't tell no one your name. and I won't tell 'em your name. i won't tell em' your name

i won't tell em' your name

i think about you all the time. but I don't need the same. it's lonely where you are. come back down and I won't tell 'em your name

name.goo goo dolls
***
arrgh. i should get out of this coz this isn't going anywhere. i know i'm still alone. i am alone (sigh).

i started the day yesterday by hailing to glorietta with my brother to buy gifts for my mom, younger sister and younger brother. it really feels good when you know that what you're going to give them would really be appreciated. i love giving gifts. i just wish i had a lot of money to buy gifts for EVERYONE. hehehe. after a little shopping, i rushed back to katipunan. i was late for the very incredible vday. saan ka makakahanap ng mga adik na tao na dalawang araw na lang before christmas eh magsasama-sama pa para lang maglaro ng volleyball. mga hayok!!! love you guys for that =)before, i get intimidated with my orgmates who play so well. but after the game yesterday, narealize ko na masaya naman palang magvnyt.hehe. after the vday, we had dinner at dannylicious(grepah life c'mon!)and then had some coffee at starbucks (one more sticker and i'm gonna get my second planner! weee!). and since ben brought a magic sing, aba, party na sa mansion! come what may! basta kantahan lang tayo. people were not contented with mere singing. eventually we had drinks. at sinong unang tinamaan? "shut up jc!" hahaha! ang ingay lang talaga natin kagabi. it's like everyone was required to yell at each other. and everyone was speaking in english, correct grammar at diction pa. mga hunghang. haha. ben you probably realized that you should have drank alcohol too. mas okay na na ang sakit ng ulo mo ay dahil sa tama ng gin,hindi dahil sa mga taong lasing sa paligid mo. haha. at hindi talaga ako makaget-over sa www.magicmic.com na yun. anyway, saya ulet shet.grabe vc. we were together for more than 12 hours. hehe. spontaneity is equal to sooo much fun. and last night was bliss. labyu guys.

yun.

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!!


P.S. hindi naman tayo nagkakasawaan sa mga pagmumukha ng isa't isa ano?

i missed you spunjeeh. it's been weeks since i last posted an entry here. well, i guess i have lots of things to share and i might as well put them all here.

hmm...

12.15.06 / 06:00

the annual lantern parade didn't push through. bwakinangshet. still, LA, roge, jowie, ben, jervin and i met up infront of BA. we took a loooong walk (i.e. around the acad oval) when the road was quite cleared from tibaks. while walking, i started this game (that has no name) with ben and jervin. whoever gets to be greeted by people the most number of times wins. they should greet us with our names, simple waves and hi's are not qualified. haha. by the way, who won the game?? anyway, after the parade, we went to wok dis way to have dinner. jorge, normaine, boni, clarc&boyfriendAJ were also there. afterwards, we went to tribu, had a few bottles of beer, and played the lasing bobo game. tribu was better than drews,crowd-wise hehehe!

12.16.06 / 09:00

went to greenhills to shop with my family. 'twas tiring.

~/ 17:00

when we got home we went straight to SM pampanga (exhaustion wasn't really in our vocabulary that time). we wanted to see the giant lantern festival live, it was held at the ampitheater at the back of the mall. goodness, hundreds and hundreds of people plagued the place. 'twas crazy. my mom wss kinda scared of what could happen (stampedes ya know..) and so we decided to go home.

12:18.06 / 16:00

went to FF north edsa to workout. i spotted this guy who looks like atom. kinda cute. rarr.

~/ 19:00

met up with jc, ben, jowie and clarc.

~/ 22:00

it's bill's party @ antipolo!!! it was so0o cool. live bands, strobe lights, smoke machine, and lotsa booze! lasing bobo game again! well i had fun.

12.19.06 / 02:00

the party's not over yet. we went videoke-ing inside when everyone else was just chillin'. dancing to the tune of footloose was very FFish. hay. more fun!!! we were singing til 04:30.

~/ 10:00

jervin, jowie, clarc and i met up with jc and ben AGAIN to watch the UAAP volleyball games. and how about another boracay-attack plan while watching the game? i assumed it was just out of hunger and lack of sleep. hahaha!

~/ 13:00

went to sm north to have lunch. as i have said before, the problem with too much happiness is that it is immediately reciprocated. but i think we're fine now, right?

~/ 16:00

tambay @ starbucks rustan's with jervin jowie and roge. eto na mehn. this was the time when we had all our sentiments, feelings and realizations shared. the thought of leaving school in three months was so heavy for us, for me. three and a half years with VC was so precious. all the vdays, tambays, spontaneous activities were soooooo much fun. i learned a lot from you guys. spending time with VC is like a celebration of life. mushy, im sorry. i saw the beauty of VC when i went beyond what i barely see from it. quoting from bill, "dito ko nakilala ang mga totoong tao.." i feel so honored being a part of this org. and i feel so sorry for the people who didn't take the risk of going beyond the perimeters of the organization. but it's never too late guys. you are always welcome in this circle of extreme happiness!

oops! we've been together for almost 24 hours now!!!

~/ 20:00

(may konsepto pa pala tayo ng pag-uwi guys..)
i was surprised to see a lot of cars parked in front of the house. it was my tito's despedida party and i didn't know, haha. i was tired, but i still managed to spend time with my cousins, nieces, aunts and uncles. i had four bottles of beer. i'm loving beer in these times. it was way easier to get 'some' sleep.

12.20.06 / 00:00

hello bed.
haay. life that was!

three humble hearts left
two souls ascended
one prayer for peace

arrividerci, benevoli tipi!

this can't be happening! is this some sort of God's huling hirit? i have a very positive outlook for this sem, my last sem, until i heard this news from a classmate. no, you cannot just pass us to another professor. the freedom of having to choose whom to get was junked.

i'm still hoping that we (meaning us, the concerned students of Ma'am Aguila) can do something with this. i have this strong feeling that we will be retained with ma'am. haha. or i just don't really wanna make my last sem miserable.

please. hear us on this. (ayan ben, ahaha! *sarreh for the error*)

last night was the SEROKS premiere night at greenbelt 3. well, there were technical problems during the screening. but i still think the film turned out to be fine. there were a lot of media men that came. i wanna see their reviews on their papers.

personally, i have to commend the cinematography (the xerox machine-like shots were awesome). pabulus lighting sir neil! clap*clap

after the screening, there was a dinner party for the cast and crew and other important people at sigafredo's. the food didn't taste good. hehe. sorry. bu we still had a good time though.

well..i'm just waiting for the premiere night pics. uhm, jasper...upload.. hihi.

why is everyone talking about grades??

is this what life is about?? grades??

chekka lang.

why not talk about freaky and bizaare experiences like going to the Emergency Room and spending the whole day there?

arrgh. i'm not gonna go back into that place again (unless im the one "on emergency").

iskeyri.

everyone's bored with this break. no internet = shit. no internet and cable = hell. meron dito sa bahay, pero mahirap ma-avail, madaming kaagaw.

it's just funny that people do not run out of moans. during the hell week, they'd whine about excessive schoolwork. during the break, they'd complain about boredom. anune??

damn this CRS, i wanna see my grades. errr.

anyway, wala lang. i just wanted to put something here. ehehe.

okay. the past 24 hours were full of tension and anger and bitchiness. okay. im quite okay now. and i want to share something to you guys. aisha and i hanged out at starbucks this afternoon. of course we talked about this 'conflict'thingy. in the middle of this talk, aisha noticed a group of students from a nearby table taking pictures of themselves - barkada pictures. i saw that too. aisha just sighed. and i just said, "parang pelikula 'to ah.."

i never assumed that this problem will punctuate our friendship. well nadala lang tayo sa mga kanya-kanyang emotions natin kaya ang bigat ng mga nasabi natin.

we all wanted that moment back - that moment when we were just having fun.

what we expected from you guys was the concern as a friend more than the "responsibility". fine, you haven't really thought of texting me that time, fine by me. but what about aisha? she's been with you all afternoon up until before the list was released. haven't you thought of her? you could've told her, she's the one who badly needs to be informed. and definitely she would text me about it.

anyway, yeah, you call this immaturity. i also think it is. but i hope you understand what we feel. if you were in our situation right now, what would you feel?

i am not happy with what we are all going through. we're hurt. but im hoping that one of these days, this would heal.

thank you for not informing us about the film 200 enlistment. good job.

i'm so tired. i feel a little dizzy. my left foot still hurts. but what the heck, i still had a good day though! i totally enjoyed doing this short film "phases" in spite of the little unfortunate events along the way. rhoda and aisha, hugs and kisses for you!!! ang galing lang natin, hahaha! the shoot was a fun experience although the morning sequences were quite frustrating. thanks to all the people behind this production! nestor and bor, you guys were very supportive prepod pa lang (*hug*), sol and pao, thanks so much for sparing some of your time for this. L.A., thanks for all the help, and i know you are twice as happy as i am with this shoot, haha :p jervin, super thank you! irrele ka lang sa filmmaking pero you stayed pa rin hanggang matapos.sana na-enjoy mo ang ginagawa namin. tin and lally, and chescums, thanks for dropping by, hehe. kriz, salamat sa tulong. mabibigat pa naman ang mga favor na hiningi ko sayo, anyway, megabondage with kuya william naman ang kapalit, haha. thank you to all the actors and actresses, michelle and pao, aina and brent, david and aisha, glaiza and pj, krisi and alchris, bunggay and andre, kriska, at ulet bor, L.A. and nestor, i just hope you had fun doing your scenes, hehehe! lotsa thanks to all you guys! wooooh! saya lang talaga. edit na lang and then we're done! hay. i hope sir lino would appreciate this short film. nevertheless, no grade could measure the kind of experience nor the relationship we were able to build while doing this project. haha! more drama lang.

There are three rooms in the house.

Room 1 contains three car keys. I entered room 1 and attempted to borrow one key. It’s our shoot for directing on Thursday, and I need a car to:
1. be able to pick up the camera and the lights from kuya William
2. transport the equipment (and all other things needed in the shoot) one location to another
3. pick up the food for the whole day
4. transport at least the actors
5. run errands

I gave Room 1 all these reasons why I needed a car, yet it didn’t give me any key. Shit. It’s like I’m as good as ‘licenseless’. I wish I could buy my own car. I don’t care what kind of hell there is in commonwealth, or in katipunan, or in any road in the world.

Room 2 contains a cable tv. I entered room 2 hoping that the tv would give me the relief since Room 1 was quite a disappointing visit. But no, Room 2 has a ‘caretaker’, and the ‘caretaker’ would not lend me the remote control of the tv even if she’s already asleep. Errr!

Room 3 contains a comfortable bed and a computer. Oh, there’s no reason for me to enter Room 3 because it’s full of hypocrisy, deception, falsity, immaturity, ka-epalan (uh, these could go on forever…).

I ended up in the living room. Hello mosquitoes. Err.

Screw this house.

*this morning, i prepared a black shirt and a black jogging pants for today's workout.*
*i was able to pass my final exam in film 171 twenty minutes before the deadline. (whew! woohoo!)*
*but, i've got class, 11:30-1, my final exam in philo 181 (panic!)*
*rhoda, aisha and i decided to get an INC at film 151 (err.not our fault.)
*later in the afternoon, i went to eng'g. yeah. within that 3 minute-stay in that college, i saw him with a "girlfriend?" (errr! man what are the odds??!)and now it's really not fate (sigh)*
*i lost my good mood. i thought i was wearing the right clothes at the gym. (yeah i know i'm overreacting)*
*i wandered my eyes, oh yeah, he was having fun with his client, while i'm having a hard time pushing off the machine. (whatever man!)
*it would probabaly be better to just go home right away than stay longer for a cup of coffee. (hmpf)
*i've seen the second episode of one tree hill season 4 (weeeeee! thanks to aina! and yeah, peyton ad rachel are killing me!)
*and then there's this one BIG revelation that i really couldn't take. (grabe!)

haay. let's call it a day.

at last! after days of being detached from the world, my net life is back. gosh, didn't think that the storm would be that harsh. i feel sorry for all the damages,for all the things that were literally blown away. i feel sad for UP, for the trees and the buildings, huhuhu. and i feel sorry for all the households that until now are in the midst of darkness, literally, again. what's gonna happen tomorrow? my academic mode has been shut the way metro manila has been shut by the storm. err. i'm not in the mood to work. err. what to do, what to do?!

gym-goers definitely love sweating.. i love sweating. at least i'm assured that i do burn calories. pero sana, hindi fatale ang sweat. kaseeeeeeee... errrrrrrrrr!!!!! bakit pa kasi nagkaroon ng konsepto ng jabar??!!!! dyahe!!!! errrrrr talaga!! well, i'm not sure if you're gonna be able to tolerate this entry, i dunno if this is kadiri na and should not be even posted publicly, but i don't care. nakakahiya kung nakakahiya pero hindi ko na kasi macontain. leche talaga.. dyahe talaga tangina.. errrrr!!! pag naalala ko yung nangyari, natatawa na nahihiya ako para sa sarili ko. tangena talaga... grabe hindi ko talaga kinaya..hanggang sa shower room, napapatigil ako sa pagligo pag naaalala ko. errrrrrrr!!!!!!! dyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahe!!! (san nga ba galing ang salitang dyahe?) lech.. i really can't get over it.

September 21, 2006

--Jologs Quiz Show accomplished!! i'm so proud of the project heads, jumar and wena! *clap!*clap!* and to the ULTIMATE JOLOGS, bunggay and monique, korona for the both of you. hahaha!

September 21, 2006

--failed to submit the revised paper for thesis proposal and the sequence treatment.

September 21, 2006

--i guess it's official. here comes this feeling again. and i hate it. err. im kind of enjoying it right now, although i know that the feeling is deceptive. sabi nga ni jc, "it's like prohibited drugs.. masarap sa una, pero destructive in the long run". oh well, what will i do..?

September 21, 2006.

life's a shit. why do these things have to come all at once? err. good thing there are still a few reasons to smile.

today was a very tiring day. uhh. our game against eng'g this morning sucked. yeah. but the loss didn't really matter afterwards. i just continued to play volleyball..play, play, play. until i got sores on my feet. the hell i care. this is volleyball. anyway, i just wanted to share that amidst the shameful game we had awhile ago, i still had a good day though. thanks to the company of VC. and, thanks to aisha and krisi for the support awhile ago during the game!! hindi kayo ang malas. promise. kami malamang. hehehe. and by the way, i appreciate your comments about -you know who-. hahaha! indeed, you are my true friends!

SEROK's principal photography is finally d o n e. haay. sure i'm gonna miss this 'indie' life. and when i say 'indie', haha, lahat na ng mga issues na kasama non. well, this was more than an internship. it was overwhelming since it's my first exposure to a full-length film production. the experience will definitely be unforgettable. haha. but what are the specific things that i will miss in this prod?
1. recto setting
2. the battle against stairs and elevatorless buildings
3. video assist
4. ramil and all his incomparable 'sound bites' (hahaha!)
5. neil's being and method acting lecture
6. greeting of the dawn, or the sun for that matter
7. "five for three two" of miss weng
8. "energy! energy!" from direk
9. beer on set
10. the wacky crew

uhh.. anyway, yah, i'm gonna miss you guys. i've learned a lot from this prod. thanks sir lej for giving us the chance to be part of this (yakiness sa pagpapasalamat!)anyway, i hope i'll see you all at the wrap-up party! huling hirit na ito sa inuman! hehehe!